Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
[Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge]
Director: Joachim Rønning, Espen Sandberg
Starring: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush
Synopsis:
Impressions:
While I enjoyed the fourth movie well enough, I didn't watch it in theaters, and when I saw the trailer for this one, I was even less inclined to give it a shot. I went all this time without seeing it and may well have kept on doing so were it not for my brilliant idea to do a POTC-themed feature. As I watched the movie, I was quite fascinated by the fact that I don't believe I enjoyed a single second of it yet could never muster much active dislike either. Oh, yes, there were plenty of things I disliked about it, but it never quite got to the point of stirring up any real emotions. Our main couple Henry and Carina will have you longing for Philip and Syrena from the previous film, which should tell you something. You might have some hope for Salazar as the primary antagonist because he's played by Javier Bardem, but he's not given much to work with. The set pieces are underwhelming, the plot twists are rather humdrum... There's nothing I have to praise except for the design of the Queen Anne's Revenge and the bit with Henry using ship terminology incorrectly for Carina being mildly amusing. I don't viscerally hate this, but I can't see any reason whatsoever to watch this. Pass on this.
Avoid It